Hello [[contact.first_name|default: "there"]],
Have you ever worked with a leader who seemed to suck the oxygen out of the room because everything had to be just right?
I used to think, I will never be that kind of leader. And yet, a few years into management, and deeper into burnout than I wanted to admit, I could see it in myself. The need to be right. To have the answer. To control the outcome before anything even unfolded.
What I’ve learned since then is this:
That need isn’t really about control.
It’s about what sits underneath it.
For me, it was doubt.
A quiet fear of being exposed. Of not being enough. Of being “found out” in moments of uncertainty or mistake.
And when I began working with self-compassion — really practicing it, not just understanding it — something shifted. The grip softened. Not all at once. Not perfectly. But gradually, I stopped needing to control every outcome in order to feel safe inside of it.
And what replaced it wasn’t indifference. It was presence. The ability to sit in a conversation without having all the answers. To lead without scripting the destination. To stay open, even when things felt uncertain.
It was uncomfortable at first. But on the other side of that discomfort sat the presence I longed for in my career.
Ease. Clarity. And a grounded career presence.
And that’s where this month has been leading us.
Do small things with great love, Eileen Murphy
P.S. Reminder,reserveyour 1:1 session for this month.
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