Dear Doers, Builders, Creators, and Seekers:
Last month, we explored unmanageable workloads and how turning overwhelm into something lighter (or even a little ridikulous) can help restore confidence and ease.
This month, I'm shifting the focus to pace. Specifically, how to tune into it and intentionally pull back.
The speed of business quietly sweep us up. Before we know it, we've been swallowed whole. And we just keep pushing through.
The amount of energy exerted pushing is often not recovered. Overtime, we're left feeling depleted, exhausted, and struggling to think clearly. When we apply the last month's Restore practice, we can give ourselves the chance to return to work with energy and our frontal lobe back online.
In a world that outpaces our capacity, we need a more sensible, sustainable approach. One that allows us to oscillate between pushing and pulling, rather than just pushing. This is how we can gain clarity, movement, and progress without burning out.
Lastly, check-out the two upcoming virtual webinars focused on reframing stress and incorporating micro-practices to recover energy and prevent burnout. And for anyone considering the 6-month Career Flow Collective, there’s still time to register before the March 27th launch.
Cheers, Eileen Murphy
PS you always have access to prior newsletters.
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Reflection: When Pushing Stops Working
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We often hear the phrase “work smarter not harder.” It’s catchy and very misleading.
Working hard isn’t the problem. Many of us are very good at “working hard”.
We push to clear the growing task-list before the end of the day. We rush home, tend to life, then reopen our laptops late into the evening. We always put our best effort in, even stopping to support colleagues.
The challenge is this: when work starts to feel unmanageable, the tendency is to push harder instead of pulling back to examine how we’re working.
I love this concept from the weight-lifting world: for every push, there must be a pull. Life naturally oscillates this way. And the same should be in our professional life. There are moments to push through, yet we often forget the pull entirely.
For me, as a people-pleasing helper raised to ask “how high” when told to jump, not for the details like when, how many times, or why.
Pushing became my default.
That “how high” started to look like doubling down on the habits that once served me well: streamlining workflows, automating where possible, repurposing old work, working later and later, multitasking, skipping out on professional development opportunities to get more accomplished. I kept pushing, and my energy depleted.
The emotional side of this equation was exhausting too. I beat myself up for not keeping pace -- for not being smart enough or persuasive enough to reduce the load. It felt like the sheer volume of work was punitive, as if I were being punished for small mistakes.
Then, time began to feel slippery. Deadlines were unclear. Requests piled up or slipped. Everything felt urgent, yet nothing really mattered.
This is stress at its most activated state, spiraling downward. And it’s often where the earliest warning signs when demands are outpacing our capacity: Overly cynical or critical thoughts about yourself or others Retreating into endless to-do lists Wanting to cancel or skip meetings Anticipating next steps and doing work before being asked
That’s when I realized I didn’t need to push harder.
I needed a way to pull back to find intention.
Once I grounded myself with a moment to pause, I began evaluating my work through a SMARTER lens (this is a set-up for the sections, drumroll please!), one that removed judgment, clarified priorities, and helped me rebuild momentum without exhausting my energy.
It’s only sensible to get done what is humanly possible.
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Reframe: A Pull for Every Push
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Instead of asking, “Why can’t I get all of this done?”
ask, “how can I make this more manageable for myself?”
Instead of constant push, practice oscillation:
A pull back to reset.
A pull to recharge.
A pull towards resiliency.
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Restore: A SMARTER Way to Check-In
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Sometimes we don’t need more effort. We need a different way of operating. It took me some time to realize what I needed for clarity at work was a way to check-in with myself when work felt heavy or I felt like I was sprinting in a marathon. My response generated the following SMARTER Framework to be my check-in guide.
(And if you’re a people-pleasing helper like me, creating systems that support you can feel uncomfortable at first because they uncover under-developed skills like saying no or reducing perfection.)
You may want to download and print this SMARTER Framework for your workspace.
Practicing this just once a week can surface new insight about your pace and energy management.
The SMARTER Framework
S – Smallest step
What’s the simplest task I can do right now to build momentum?
M – Must-haves What actually needs to be done today? (What can wait?)
A – Ask/Advise Do I fully understand the request? If not, who can clarify?
If I’m stuck, who can offer perspective?
R – Reduce Can this take less effort than I’m assuming? What does an “80% effort” version look like here?
T – Time-box
How much time am I willing to spend on this? Set a timer, and re-evaluate after the buzzer.
E – Exchange Start naming the workload for your manager, team or requester: If I do this, what moves?
R – Revisit Step away from the work that feels blocked and revisit later.
Sometimes insight arrives when we stop resisting.
Remember, resilience expands through small, consistent steps over time.
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Becoming Your Sensible Self
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One of the biggest shifts we can make is realizing that unmanageable work grows where expectations are unclear. And when expectations are unclear, our nervous system fills in the gaps, usually by speeding up and using more energy than the work actually requires.
So let's start modeling the clarity we desire. For me, I: included deadlines in my requests. highlighted timelines clearly. named my assumptions out loud.
And I was transparent about my default: “if a request doesn’t include a deadline, I assume I have two weeks.”
Once that expectation was set and reinforced (over several weeks), people started to adjust. Some even joined me in the pursuit.
This is where boundaries begin to take shape. Not as walls, but as agreements.
Reflection questions: What expectations do I have of others that I haven’t named? How could I model clearer expectations in my own communication? Where could clarity, especially around time, make me work feel lighter?
Becoming sensible isn’t about doing more.
It’s about making work manageable by design, not by endurance.
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Career Flow Collective Begins March 27, 2026 There is still time and space to join the inaugural Career Flow Collective — a space for mid-career doers, builders, creators, and seekers to pause, reflect, and reconnect with their energy to redefine how they show up at work.
This six-month journey combines private coaching with a supportive cohort. You’ll receive weekly emails with guided reflections and exercises, monthly restorative group sessions, and dedicated 1:1 coaching — all designed to help you build a steady, sustainable career presence. Learn more. Be the first to build your career flow.
Upcoming Events From Stressed to Reset is a free 60-minute webinar focused creating small micro-adjustments to shift out of survival mode into recovery and confidence. You'll learn how to reset during the workday and design a plan for you. Join me on March 19th at 10am CST Reserve your free spot here.
Own the Moment: From Stress Reaction to Strategic Response is a 90-minute paid workshop focused on flipping stress into smart moves, to own every moment. This is an interactive session that builds stress awareness, debunk 3 common myths about stress all building towards designing your personalized Stress Better Plan to help you own your career
moments. Join me on April 23rd at 11am CST Reserve your spot here.
These two events will be offered quarterly so don't worry if you cannot make these dates, there will be more opportunity to expand your stress knowledge.
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© Blackbird Life Coaching
Wilmette, IL | United States
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